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Discussion: Humor
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BunkieLA |
Humor
Nov 20 2009, 5:12 AM EST
A lot of what has to be addressed regarding the paranormal is grim and gruesome. But there is time to discover a lighter side -- and not necessarily in pointing out the incompetence of "official agencies" that keep trying to say, "It's all in your imagination."< In the postings here at P&M, I would like to point out two instances where humor has been sought, and found. The first is in the "Alien by the bed" picture from David; a consensus seems to have been reached that the alien in its Halloween costume and "grey" mask is saying, "Can I play Halloween costume party with you? It looks like loads of fun." < The second instance is in the two-sided plaque from Babylon. Here is a classic chimera, lion's body, eagle's claws, and four wings, peering over a wall at a party. The chimera's face is that of, all things, a big dog with droopy ears, and the poor thing seems to be drooling and begging. That definitely bespeaks that the artist had a sense of humor. < The point here is that simply because an object or an illustration comes from ancient times, that we should not look for the possibility that there might be a quirky something about the story that it has to tell -- and is meant to give the viewer a smile. Do you find this valuable? |
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BunkieLA |
1. RE: Humor
Nov 20 2009, 5:39 AM EST
ORMS - HISTORICAL: In the cylinder seal from Babylon, here we have what seems to be a representation of Marduk and most likely his son, Nabu, enacting a scene from the "doctored" creation story of the Enuma Elish. The story is at the point where Marduk gives a mighty whack to the water monster Tiamat. Tiamat is split in two; her upper part goes spinning off to become Earth; her lower part becomes the asteroid belt/hammered bracelet. Not so fast.< Hold on. Who is this figure at the head of the watery beast, this figure that is definitely female (no beard), identified by an 8-pointed star? it's Ishtar! And what is she doing? She is actually smiling and patting the beast identified as Tiamat on the head! If the reproduction of the picture of the cylinder seal is not too badly obscured, the beast actually seems to be smiling -- and it is sticking out its tongue (like the begging mastiff figure on the chimera plaque). < The joke? Here are Marduk and Nabu coming to rescue Ishtar from a hideous water monster (Sirrush), and she can take care of herself perfectly well, thank you. < Of course, no illustration from far off times is as simple as it appears. There are multiple layers of meaning, and that is where I will stop. Do you find this valuable? |
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ohiopatty |
2. RE: Humor
Nov 22 2009, 4:51 PM EST
Clearly, to me anyway, at least some of these et's have tried to play with me but instead of being delighted I was horrified. I woke up one morning with cut grass and mud up my legs to my knees and didn't remember anything except feeling like I'd dreamed about being cornered outside by someone and I'd been very afraid. It was well known in our house that I was a sleep walker and would sometimes be found outside. Just the other day, my mind let go of the rest of the original memory and it hit me square between the eyes that the little greys surrounding me in this marshy place in a nearby field might have been trying to have fun with me. My mind flashed back to a time at school where we'd play like this but it hadn't occurred to me that this might be what it was about because fear over the experience had caused my mind to keep the full memory from coming back to me. This happened when I was about 8. The day I woke up with this all over my legs the neighbor called me over. He asked what I was doing out in the little marsh next to his house at 3 am and who those strange looking kids were. He grabbed his head and yelled and said he had to go. He called us back over later and said my little brother had been out there with me too. We looked at each other and both grabbed our heads. It felt like mine was splitting open. When I was 25 I suffered such bad headaches for such a prolonged time that I had to be hospitalized and run with all sorts of tests. Finding nothing physically wrong with me they wanted to try hypnotism. In that two hour session they discovered I'd had many traumatic experiences. They asked me about ufo's, et's, bigfoot, mothman, how long I'd worked for the government, had I ever seen criminal activity, etc, etc, etc,...... Yeah...... Soooo, at that time I had no interest in any of that and to my knowledge had not heard of most of it. This was the cause of my headaches.
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ohiopatty |
3. RE: Humor
Nov 22 2009, 5:02 PM EST
Doctors told me at that time that splitting headaches on both sides going across the middle of the top of the head are usually a sign of hidden trauma from the past that's manifesting as these headaches. Not all of them are from this but alot are. I and my brother just thought it was so crazy that all three of us in short order grabbed out heads and yelled "ow!" My brother kept saying we were playing with these tiny people out in that marsh. This guy's yard was between our yard and the marsh and I'd have never stepped foot in that mud hole to begin with. I did however, like walking in the clay in our garden after a rain because it was fun. Now, how would et's know that? Obviously they'd been in my mind to know that. I really do think that they can "see" our entire lifetime, back to front and visa versa. I also believe they can later utilize it to come and visit us again. I and my sisters have been able to send mental images to each other all our lives though I didn't have a phone. It didn't matter if they were halfway around the world or in the far southern u.s. We all had the ability to see the other person, who was hurting or experiencing trauma, in our minds. One day I got this message to do this with a teen boy in the south who was in a coma and I saw him in my mind. I prayed for him and then we traveled down to my brothers. I just waited for his wife to tell me she'd sent the message to me. She began so I stopped her and told her what she was going to tell me. She was shocked that I got so much detail. I spoke with the boy's mother and then met her and we said a little prayer together and that was it. I told her that when her son woke up he'd tell her that this woman was nagging him so bad that he had to wake up. Within two weeks my sister in law called to let the boy talk to me. I talked and heard him yelling, "that's the same voice I kept hearing! 1 out of 1 found this valuable. Do you? |
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ohiopatty |
4. RE: Humor
Nov 22 2009, 5:10 PM EST
They finally got him calmed down and his mom got on the phone to ask what I"d been saying to him with my mind. I told her I'd thought about all the new experiences teens had and how he'd miss out on all of this like, kissing, sex....lol She burst into laughing and yelling at the same time saying, "it's true!!! she just told me she did talk to you about kissing and sex!!" Boys are imbarrassed talking about sex anyway but I told this kid I'd nag him forever if he didn't wake up. I told her this and so she asked him the reason why he chose to wake up. He said the voice said she'd keep nagging him until he did! The mother almost fainted and got back on the phone to thank me. I told her I couldn't take the thanks for that since humans can't do things like that without God. She agreed and said, "how about thanks for stepping forward to talk to him like that?" I laughed and said I could do that. She said she had to go but no one was going to ever believe this. Now, If I can send thoughts through the air like that who's to say that et's aren't hearing them along with all the thoughts of everyone else on this earth? Maybe they perceive our laughing at scary movies as something to make us laugh but when they do this to us we are horrified? lol The end.
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BunkieLA |
5. RE: Humor
Nov 22 2009, 10:00 PM EST
Incredible.< What follows here is completely my personal opinion: Over the past few months, as I have read the postings of Paul, David, you, and others, I have formed this image of how the aliens view us: We are in a petting zoo that is adjacent to a scientific lab where the aliens do awful things to our bodies and our minds, and beings from all dimensions and all corners of the universe come to ogle us. < I compare these experiences with what I went through as a guest of the U. S. Government as an evacuee from the New Orleans floods of 2005. The amount of lies about our status in the shelters and the trailer parks, and our ability to believe that one day we would return home, were all meant to confuse and delude us. < To me, much of the UFO literature out there is still of the "space brother" sort, meant to confuse and delude. I distrust it as much as I distrusted the U. S. Government then and always will. < I am glad for your information about the headaches. Without repeating the whole story, I will say that when I was in day school, in April, 1954, at the age of 5, entities set me up to have the moving seat of a swing whack me on the back of the head. This, presumably, was to release some psychic ability in my mind. I have suffered with what most doctors would describe as migraine headaches ever since. Often I get these headaches when I have the feeling that something not of this earth is passing invisibly overhead, way overhead, as in outer space even. < There is a lot more to this story, of course! Maybe one day I will have the chance to write it down. Maybe someone will publish it. Ohio Patty, your faith -- keep it strong! Do you find this valuable? |
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ohiopatty |
6. RE: Humor
Nov 23 2009, 8:17 PM EST
Bunkie, Maybe if I tell you about two separate incidents from my younth it might change your view of these et's and their intent towards us. The first memory begins by seeing that I'm with alot of people, all in their pajamas, standing in a wide line on a nice new blacktop road when such roads were very new to society. The place where this was taking place was one that was well known to me by that time. The road however, didn't go up over that hill but curved to the right and wasn't blacktopped from what I knew it to be. The next day after this incident we were traveling past this place and I remarked that it was odd that the road wasn't blacktopped at all like it had been the night before. Dad asked what I meant by that so I told him we'd all been standing in this wide line of people that went clear up and over the ridge on a newly blacktopped road. He asked when this was and I said it had been last night and everyone was in their pajamas. He asked who I knew there but I only recognized our family. He asked me to describe what I saw and so I said the kids were all awake but the adults wouldn't answer us at all, staring straight ahead. That, caught his attention as nothing else. Mom asked what was going on but dad thought out loud by saying "they weren't supposed to be doing that to "him"'. Mom asked what about her but dad said bluntly that they were never supposed to be doing that to "him". They had a bargain he said. My older siblings thought he was talking crazy and gave each other this look, lol. Well, the questions kept coming from him to me. What were we all doing there. I said it was a long time before we got to the top of this ridge. It was like carnival rides down there with all of these flashing red, green, white, etc, lights that ran along the edges of these circular type houses with a few windows on top. It wasn't a carnival but the line of people progressed down into...
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ohiopatty |
7. RE: Humor
Nov 23 2009, 8:36 PM EST
this cornfield that corn had been harvested from. The stubble hurt my ankles. I showed them my ankles which still had scrapes on them from this. My younger brother said his had been itching and he'd found scrapes on them not knowing how he'd gotten them. He was asked if he remembered any of this I was talking about and he said he'd thought it was just a dream but it was the same as what I was describing. Dad took a turn to go up that road to have me point to where we'd gone over the ridge. He said he'd get to the bottom of this and it wasn't going to be nice. So, I then described to him that these funny tall skinny grey people with big eyes and a teeny tiny mouth were taking this goldish pearlescent stuff from the adults heads which then went through a tube to this big see-thru huge round flask. It seemed to flow from there into these strange looking houses. There were two of them that were pretty big with more than a few of these tall greys. Dad blurted out that they definitely did not have permission to do that to him! Everyone was shocked by this and swung to look at him. He was hot. Mom asked what they had done to them but dad said it wasn't any of her business and she wouldn't believe it anyway. He walked up the hill to the ridge to see if there was a cornfield down like I'd described and came back to say it was all the way I'd seen it but they'd never had me over there and hadn't been there themselves. It was a cornfield and it had been harvested. He found out from the owner of the field that he'd harvested it a day or two before that. The next incident happened years later and I found myself in a situation which I hadn't figured on having in the first place. Sometimes you just fall into things but this one looked like I might be kidnapped or worse. I'd ordered a ufo with my mind to come back and show me how that thing worked. To my utter shock it did and came back...
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ohiopatty |
8. RE: Humor
Nov 23 2009, 8:47 PM EST
I realized they were coming back because they'd heard my thoughts. I thought that I'd really have to watch what I allowed myself to think if I hoped to survive whatever might happen next. The craft came to settle on the roadway in front of our house and I gulped thinking how I could never tell anyone about this because I'd never believe it if someone else told me it happened to them. These little grey beings came out, stood sort of like at attention to me, nodding at me and motioning to me to come inside. I gulped again and fought the urge to consider my fate. Play along was all I could think. When one gave me a questioning look I asked with my mind sternly what he was looking at which made him turn right back around. I was motioned inside like a visiting dignitary and so I stood while one at this panel was using the palms of his hands to work these little glowing lights that made the craft go up, go side to side, rev up whatever the engine was and then slow it down. It didn't sound like a car engine but has this whizzing, bee like sound to it. I looked around really well at the walls, some human man sitting in this side room in a paisley shirt, white belted polyester slacks, afro hair and silver wire-rimmed glasses. He made eye contact with me but seemed a bit out of it. My eyes swung around behind me to look through supports from floor to ceiling to this other side of the craft. There was this large bore ceiling to floor tube over there with this goldish pearlescent stuff inside. It was really pretty, glowing, and then two women and one man went swirling around in it while the man mouthed "help me" as he made eye contact with me. I wondered how he could breathe in that stuff but then supposed it must not be water but maybe a gas or something. I just didn't know. There was a control panel over next to this tube with small greys sitting at them. Other small greys were in there too....
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ohiopatty |
9. RE: Humor
Nov 23 2009, 8:55 PM EST
When I'd seen this tube with that pretty stuff in it glowing I said "wow" out loud and all of them turned quickly to look at me at the same time. I thought, "ut oh! It's over now!" but then I recovered by saying I had to go look at this tube thing which they had to have allowed me to do since I found I was standing there looking at it. It occurs to me that they are using this stuff for something but I haven't figured out what that is yet. I don't know that I ever will but I will try to figure it out. The crafts controls appeared to be hooked up to this tube of stuff. Maybe it was controls to preserve it or contain it within a force field? At any rate it would appear that the stuff in that tube was taken from people and looked to represent their spiritual body, essence and energy. I state plainly that dad has one of the small greys inside himself. He is this way because he sold his soul, according to him, and others came with this being and are still here. I saw one go from his mother's body through her eyes to the other person's eyes so it's clear they do that so as to stay here. This is how he knew what they were doing was real. My siblings on the other hand thought he and mom were utterly nuts for believing me about this. I thought it had been a really vivid dream but I'd awakened with grass and dirt on my feet. The place where this took place was about nine miles from our house. The end.
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BunkieLA |
10. RE: Humor
Nov 24 2009, 9:56 AM EST
| Post edited: Feb 27 2010, 4:16 PM EST
In the early 1950s, it was the fashion for pediatricians to have all their patients have their tonsils taken out at about the age of five. Interestingly, I had my tonsils out between the time I got the whack on the back of the head with the swing seat, and my first out-of-body experience (see "1954: Visions of Murder"). During that interval of about three months or so, did something or someone take me away from my house and what I thought was my safe bed in the middle of the night? Was I given a physical exam by aliens?< All I know is that when I was wheeled into the operating room, and the orderlies clustered over me to put the gas mask over my face, I started to fight and scream and thrash about for "all that was in me". It took an orderly on each extremity and a fifth one just to put the mask on my face to control me. Clearly, something I could not remember, yet that I had been through before, made me want to fight for my life and escape if at all possible. < In various books on UFO abductees, it has also been mentioned that people who suffer serious sinus symptoms may have had an implant put behind one of their eyes. Between the headaches and the sinuses, I do have to wonder, "Who has been messing with my body? And where and when?" As Charles Fort encouraged everyone: Look for consistencies. The stories I am reading here at P&M are very different from stories I have encountered elsewhere. As I have suggested, somehow, a group of us is being drawn to P&M to share accounts of our experiences, and actually counsel each other about how to come to grips with it all. 1 out of 1 found this valuable. Do you? |
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ohiopatty |
11. RE: Humor
Nov 24 2009, 12:36 PM EST
Oddly enough I have something very important to add to the "sinus" thing. In 1983 I went to my gp for extreme headaches I'd had, he passed me to the neurologist who passed me to a teaching hospital in our capitol city to do complete testing, including a ct scan. Just after they injected me with iodized iodine I felt the strong effects of it and sought to keep myself calm and still by praying. This caused the machine to throw electrical arcs all over the room I was in. I was watching them from that hole in the machine my head was in. As I watched I prayed harder to calm myself and hope that God would put a stop to this going on. The doctor called to me to ask how I was doing and I asked him, "what do you think?!" which made he and the tech laugh. I was still maintaining prayer at the same time I answered him. He then asked me something that required much thought so I stopped praying and so did the arcing. An experiment later proved that this praying activated these little bits of metallic stuff in my head and made them glow as well as lit up my entire brain which meant I was using my entire brain versus the 10 percent used normally. Anyway, these three bits of metallic stuff were situated in diverse places. One was in my sinus cavity between my eyes. One was in my "inner ear canal" of my left ear. The last one was at the base of the ganglia of my brain. Decades pass and I hear a news report about the discovery that the base of the ganglia controls emotions. The one in the ear.... Well, in the 1980's I'd discovered that I could lay hands on people, pray with them for healing and watch healing actually take place before our eyes. One day my friend came to me straight from home with a third degree burn on her belly and asked me to lay my hands on her and pray that she be healed. Before she even came there without any foreknowledge from her, no phone, I got woke up and got the message that she was coming over.
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ohiopatty |
12. RE: Humor
Nov 24 2009, 12:45 PM EST
Knowing she had to walk two blocks to get to me, I got dressed and went to my door to wait for her. When she came to the door I opened it and she asked why I was there at my door so I told her. She was excited then and came upstairs to see "what" would happen. I asked her how she got the burn to her belly and she turned to me and said, "wait, I didn't tell you about that yet!" I said, "I know, and oh, you got it from a pot on the stove, sorry." She asked why I was sorry and I said, "because I could've just looked and seen what caused it without asking you and bothering you about it but I wasn't thinking." She stared at me with her mouth hanging open so I said she should close it in case there were any flies in my house. She snapped out of it and so we sat down to lay hands on and pray. When she touched it with her own fingers it hurt like crazy but when I laid my hand on it it didn't. So we proceeded. Once I finished my simple prayer I took my hand away and we both sat there watching this burn. Within seconds it peeled off like a sticker while slowly floating up into the air and breaking into smaller and smaller pieces until it was utterly gone. We both looked at each other and asked at the same time if the other had seen what we saw and then we both laughed and then called jinx, you owe me a coke, and then we laughed hysterically. We talked about owing God the thanks for this and then she asked me about some other thing she was interested in. It was quiet for a few moments until there came this blaring voice out of my left ear! It hurt because it was so loud. The voice was one of a young man of about 20+ and he was blurting out, "I got her to do it! I can't believe I got her to do it!". My friend said, "What was that?!" and I asked where the sound came from. She said it sounded like it came from the left side of my head. I said it came out of my left ear.
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ohiopatty |
13. RE: Humor
Nov 24 2009, 12:51 PM EST
The next thing we hear is this other young male's voice saying, "they heard you! We're under orders that they are never to hear us! You've got the volume up too high!" and then there was silence as if he turned it down. Yes, I understand what, "we're under orders..." meant. This was military and government of course. That really ticked me off. The voices were american without any accent. She asked me what was going on so I told her what I thought. She said, "can that even be possible?!" I said, "Evidently it is." She said she was glad she wasn't me and I told her gee thanks for that and I laughed. She said she was glad I had a sense of humor because she wouldn't in my situation. So, yes, I'm well aware that mind-control is not only possible it's real. the end.
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BunkieLA |
14. RE: Humor
Nov 24 2009, 6:26 PM EST
| Post edited: Nov 24 2009, 6:31 PM EST
I called them Brown and Yellow, entities that could appear to me as orbs or an Egyptian pharaoh and his queen. They were under orders to keep me here in New Orleans for when a certain series of events were supposed to occur. (Page "1954, visions of murder.) Anyhow, the floods of 2005 messed up the original schedule someone else had set up for the "big show". So, presumably on the orders of their superiors, Brown and Yellow were supposed to be hard at work resetting the timing for everything.< What it came down to was that the locations where everything was expected to take place were so messed up by the floods and rebuilding that Brown and Yellow simply put up their Egyptian hands and said, "There is nothing that can be done." < This past February, their supervisor "Blue" showed up in my house to confront Brown and Yellow. (See "Faux"-tography, three orbs.) I was home and sensed that something of psychic importance was happening, so I went into the front room to see for myself. As soon as I arrived, Blue put on a great show of saying to Brown and Yellow, "You're fired!" This gave me the impression that even entities watch TV programs like Donald Trump, etc. < Disgusted, I went for a walk to get some fresh air. Brown and Yellow took on the form of Guinea fowl (but only I could see them), and followed me out of the house. From a tree in the neighborhood, they called out to me, mind-to-mind. Brown said some nasty things about, "Look what you did to us!" I simply looked at him where he sat on a branch over my head and was very glad that he was not a real bird, liable to drop "blessings" from above. I turned my back on them and walked away. < Where are they now? I don't care. All I want is to be left alone. As for the prophecy, I don't give a "flirp" either. 1 out of 1 found this valuable. Do you? |
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BunkieLA |
15. RE: Humor
Dec 5 2009, 10:23 AM EST
Orbs: Trix Swirls: Against my better sensibilities and warnings of dental cavities, I went and bought a box of this cereal. The colors may have been doctored, but the corn puffs are basically the same as they always have been since the 1950s. The main colors and flavors are still raspberry red, lemon yellow, and orange orange. The only difference is that the red is blended with blueberry blue, the yellow is blended with lime green, and the orange is blended with strawberry pink. As to resembling orbs, the individual puffs are round and come in three color varieties. That is it.
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CiCi82310 |
16. RE: Humor
Dec 9 2009, 3:15 PM EST
"Faux" Orbs: For the holidays, I thought I would make up some ornaments that might look like orbs. I can tell you right now that tennis balls covered with a glow-in-in-the-dark coating just will not cut it. The same goes for styrofoam balls covered with that same glow-stuff and glitter. Anyway, for the fun of it, the effect is very different. I'll call it quaint, and leave it at that.
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